I stumbled upon this article today so I am sharing it with
the world. I have shortened it to make it easier to read.
The full article can be found here
How Complaining Rewires Your Brain for Negativity
TRAVIS BRADBERRY
SEPTEMBER 9, 2016
Research shows that most people complain once a minute
during a typical conversation.
Complaining is tempting because it feels good, but like many other
things that are enjoyable - smoking or overeating - complaining isn’t good for
you.
When you repeat a behaviour, complaining, your neurons
branch out to each other to ease the flow of information to make easier to
repeat that behaviour in future. You don't realize you’re doing it
Your neurons grow
closer together, and the connections between them become more permanent.
Scientists describe this process as, “Neurons that fire together, wire
together.”
Repeated complaining
rewires your brain to make future complaining more likely. Over time, you
find it’s easier to be negative than to be positive, regardless of what’s
happening around you. This changes how people see you.
Complaining damages other areas of your brain as well.
Research from Stanford University has
shown that complaining shrinks the hippocampus - an area critical to problem
solving and intelligent thought. Damage to the hippocampus is scary, especially
when you consider that it’s one of the primary brain areas destroyed by
Alzheimer’s.
Complaining is also bad for your health
When you complain, your body releases the stress hormone
cortisol. Cortisol shifts you into fight-or-flight mode, directing oxygen,
blood and energy away from everything but the systems that are essential
to immediate survival. Cortisol, raises your blood pressure and blood sugar so
that you’ll be prepared to either escape or defend yourself.
The extra cortisol released impairs your immune system and
makes you more susceptible to high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, strokes,
infections and obesity.
Complaining is infectious
Since human beings are inherently social, our brains mimic
the moods of those around us, this
process is called neuronal mirroring, and the basis for empathy. However,
this makes complaining a lot like smoking - you don’t have to do it
yourself to suffer the ill effects. You need to be cautious about spending time
with people who complain about everything.
Complainers
want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about
themselves. Like inhaling the second-hand smoke you suffer the consequences.
The solutions to complaining
1. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude.
Shift your attention to something that you’re grateful for. This
reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%. Research conducted at the
University of California, Davis, found that people who worked daily to
cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood and energy and
substantially less anxiety due to lower cortisol levels. When you experience
negative or pessimistic thoughts think about something positive. Your positive
attitude will rewire your brain
2. Solution-oriented complaining
When you have something that is truly worth complaining
about - poor customer service - look for away to solve the problem in
solution-oriented complaining. Think of it as complaining with a purpose.
Solution-oriented complaining should do the following:
Have a clear purpose.
If you can’t identify a purpose, you probably just want to
complain for its own sake.
Start with something positive.
It may seem counterintuitive to start a complaint with a
compliment, but starting with a positive helps keep the other person from
getting defensive. For example, before launching into a complaint about poor
customer service, you could say something like, “I’ve been a customer for a
very long time and have always been pleased with your service...”
Be specific.
When
you’re complaining don't dredge up every minor annoyance from the past 20
years. Just address the current situation and be as specific as possible.
Instead of saying, “Your employee was rude to me,” describe specifically what
the employee did that seemed rude.
End on a positive.
If
you end with, “I’m never shopping here again,” the person has no motivation to
act on your complaint. You’re just venting, with no purpose but to complain.
Instead, restate your purpose, as well as your hope that the desired result can
be achieved, for example, “I’d like to work this out so that we can keep our
business relationship intact.”
Bringing It All Together
Just like smoking, drinking too much, and lying on the couch
watching TV all day, complaining is bad for you. Put my advice to use, and
you'll reap the physical, mental and performance benefits that come with a
positive frame of mind.
A version of this article appeared
on TalentSmart.
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